The time has come...

I have to go back to work tomorrow.  This might just be the hardest part of this whole journey.  I'm sure it will be good for me to have something to focus on and get me out of the house, but I know I'm going to be missing him so badly.  On the positive side, it's one more step in the direction of normal.  I actually feel like he's ok to be at home while I'm at work.  He's getting stronger every day, and after almost 3 weeks at home, he just seems less fragile.  Sometimes during the day while I'm here, I think to myself, "If only time could just move faster".  I know that's not the typical wish of a mom.  (Well, maybe it is depending on how well your kids sleep as babies).  Most people want their babies to stay babies.  Not me.  I'm ready for him to grow up and get well so we can take him places and get him out of the house.  I know that as time passes, he'll need less help, fewer meds, and he'll be able to live his life to its fullest.  To be honest, I just can't wait for the day he can play outside with his big sister.  She's excited about it, too, she just doesn't know it yet. 

So, wish me luck as we make one more change and get used to this new routine.  It's been one routine change after the other, but this should be the last big shift before we can just settle in for the long haul.  And I just have to thank God one more time for figuring out a way to get me a job share at my school this year.  It seriously could not be more appreciated. 

I'll leave you with a picture I took of Ryan last night right before his bath.  This boy LOVES to sleep (praise the Lord), so much so that he typically sleeps through his bath.  It's the funniest thing.  Last night while I was getting him undressed, his arms were extended and his blanket flowed behind him in such a way that I just had to take this.  Our little Superman.  (And in case any of you were wondering what his g-tube feeding tube looked like, there it is).